Delivering babies

HALIFAX - I helped deliver my first babies this past week. Strangely enough, they each had 4 legs.

Under cloudy skies on a warm but damp Wednesday, Cliff, Sarah, and I went biking in Gore with a friend (Mike) whose family owns a whole whack of land in that area. Afterwards, Mike showed us around his farm (the silage, the wood doctor, the milking parlour, etc.), while I (the city boy) caught up in the excitement of being on a REAL and functioning farm peppered Mike with questions. And then.. we came upon 2 cows - both of whose water just broke.

Another Farmer (Paul) came by and after he put on his shoulder-length gloves to reach in the cow and pull out the calves' hoofs, he tied ropes to their hoofs and got us to start heaving. The first one came out no problem but the second cow's baby was inverted (hind legs first). We had to use a pulley to help her out, and she must've been pushing pretty hard cuz half way through the delivery, she started defecating all over the place. Her huge a$$ all of a sudden started spraying crap everywhere with firehose ferocity. Paul ended up with a pile of $hit on his head, but the rest of us fortunately got away unscathed.

I then looked down at my hands and saw a streak of blood across my palm. Shucks.. I must've torn my skin while pulling on the rope. But then, I wiped it off and realized it wasn't my blood! Even better.

An hour later, I was at an Ethiopian restaurant eating and sucking on dinner with my hands. Yuum yuummm.