In The Sticks

I'm back from a week of living in the sticks and here are some stories to write home about (did not bring camera this week but hope to get some shots next wk):

I arrive at the clinic after a 2 hr ride on my motorcycle, thirsty as a cactus, so the staff tell me to go make myself a cup of coffee. I settle into the staff lounge but am not much of a caffeine junkie so I just grab a glass of water and go to work. Back at the reception desk our conversation goes something like this:
(them) "Did ya fix yourself a cup of coffee?"
(me) "No I'm not much of a coffee drinker so I just had some water."
(them) "You boiled the water first right?"
(me) ..hesitating w/ funny look starting to creep over my face
(them) "Well good luck bai"
STRIKE ONE!

On day 3 the GP leaves me in the treatment room alone with a patient to perform a relatively minor procedure. He returns to find *gasp* the patient's blood all over the floor, on my pants, and covering my shoes. This wasn't open heart surgery or anything dramatic like that.. I just goofed - big time. SSSTTEEEEEEEERRIKE TWO!!

I calmly clean up the mess and explain to the patient this happens sometimes when we do [this procedure]. Patient is reassured and the GP finishes up the job. After the patient left, the doc told me I was cool under fire. Phew - close one.

Thankfully I've got a fun doc to work with (he's a good instructor as well). We're out for lunch one day with his colleagues and once everyone's seated at the table, he introduces me: "Folks, this is Ian from the Medical Council of Ireland. He's here for a week to audit me practice. Please do all ye can to make sure he's well fed and content by the time he leaves."

For a while, everyone's intimidated by my presence at lunch and no one mentions a word to me for the next 20 minutes, until a brave soul questions, "are ye really from the medical council?" To which I reply, "Absolutely. And what are the guidelines for instrument disinfection and infectious disease control at your practice??" My GP chokes on his food and launches a half-digested potato wedge across the room at 90 mph. SSTRIKE THREE!